my thoughts are either nerdy or pervy, there’s no in between
Avengers Actually Assembled
A world where film studio rights don’t exist and all of Marvel exists as one place.
But we can’t show people of the same gender kissing on-screen. Amazing.
I definitely would love for Iron Fist to be East Asian. I would so watch that show. Please, Marvel!
I don’t even need to caption this WE ARE ALL THINKING THE SAME DAMN THING
can we please just take a moment to close our eyes and imagine how insanely hilarious and refreshing a public debate between tony stark and romney would be
On gay marriage:
“No, you don’t understand, Mittens, of course I recognize gay marriage and complete equal benefits for my employees; I trust them with the best technology and equipment and explosives in the country. As long as they don’t blow up my facilities, I’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep them happy and healthy. Explosives, Mittens.”
On reproductive rights:
“Just for a second, close your eyes, and imagine that the Black Widow is your co-worker. And also lives two floors down from you, so she knows where you sleep. She once incapacitated me- for my own health, of course, but that’s irrelevant- she can do any job a man can do, better, without breaking a sweat, and she learned ‘enhanced interrogation’ from the KGB. Do you want to tell her what she can or cannot do with her own body? I thought not. Okay, moving on.”
“Who remembers that stock crash when I first came out as Iron Man and said I wasn’t making weapons anymore?” *uncomfortable snickers from audience*
“No, go ahead, laugh. Everyone thought I was crazy. Pepper thought I was crazy, and I owe her a pony for putting up with me all these years. Oh, shoot, national TV, now I have to give her one, don’t I? Anyway, they thought I was crazy, because I was shutting down the biggest branch of SI, where most of our manufacturing and research went. Investors didn’t have hope. But you know what? We took those brilliant people, got some fresh ideas, remodeled some factories, and not one employee got laid off that year. Because if you people work hard, and work together, and you work in a fair environment where every crazy, brilliant idea has a chance to flourish, then you can take half a company and grow it to bigger than it was before.
And that’s what we need to do with jobs in this country. These unemployment statistics? Suck. So let me give you some numbers about how I plan to fix that, so we can get this country working again. Here’s the plan: and then he goes and gives statistics, and Romney makes a fish face, because Pepper Gave Him Notecards And He Actually Followed Them. Well, for this part of the speech.
I am Iron Man, in case you don’t watch the news. Also, we have a Hulk. Just putting that out there. Considering the events of the last few years, I think other countries will think twice about pissing off President Stark.
On green energy: Stark is pretty much still the only name in green energy, and all our new facilities are LEED Gold certified. We’re still working on upgrades to some of the oldest buildings, but they’re well on their way. You know how hard it is to get building permits in California? So yeah, I support the efforts we make in this country to live more sustainably. Because I love this country, and I’d like to save it for the long run. It’s kind of what I do. Because it’s awfully hard to Avenge against pollution.
And in case they get into a dick size contest over who loves America more…
“I’m in a monogamous relationship with freedom”
i’m crY I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THIS WORLD
omg help me I’ve fallen down laughing and crying and can’t find the will to get up
Okay, everyone go home. Tony Stark and this post just won the Internet.
#Tony would win #then get really tired of the job #and he’d just make Pepper run the country for him
#And Pepper would most probably run it 9000-120000000x better than any man
Actually yes! Virginia Potts for President!
EXCLUSIVE: MGM, Paramount and Timur Bekmambetov set a February 26, 2016, release date on an epic remake of Ben-Hur; have they found their chariot driver inTom Hiddleston? I hear that he’s the one the studios are courting to play Judah Ben-Hur in the adaptation of the 1880 Lew Wallace novel Ben-Hur: A Tale Of The Christ, which was the biggest-selling novel of its time until it was eclipsed by Gone With The Wind.
Hiddleston isn’t being fitted for a toga just yet. He has other projects vying for his services, including the MGM pic Me Before You. Keith Clarke, who scripted the Peter Weir-directed The Way Back, wrote the script that MGM pounced on after that company got ambitious following its emergence from bankruptcy and huge hits in Skyfall and The Hobbit. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey joined Sean Daniel and Joni Levin as producers, with Clarke and Jason Brown exec producing. Oscar-winning 12 Years A Slave scribe John Ridley wrote the last draft.
Bekmambetov is a slightly less cohesive Michael Bay of the Russian Federation
Also Tom isn’t Jewish
So no, don’t
And he was the inspiration for Zorro who became the inspiration for Batman.
so in iron man 2
a little boy in an iron man helmet tries to shoot one of the rampaging suits with his lil toy flight stabilizers
in spider-man 2
a little boy puts on his spiderman suit and stands up against the rhino
that’s great for all the little boys in the theater, but you know what I want?
i want a little girl to help the heroes
i want a six-year old redhead to kick nat’s gun to her
i want a twelve-year old with braces and a lisp to shake cap back to consciousness
i want a nine-year old latina girl to take clint by the hand and walk him down unfamiliar streets back to the main fight
i want a sixteen-year old black girl to kick an enemy in the back of the knees to save sam wilson
because girls are sitting in that audience too
and they deserve to see that
i get teary-eyed every time i watch this scene actually
It’s like Marvel is really trying to piss people off, lol.
calling it, whoever the new iron man is they won’t be straight. marvel’s tryna go for the trifecta.
Nothing makes me more pleased than Marvel making Marvel fanboys angry about genuinely good and interesting comic choices.
Um, this is fantastic. Why the hell are you complaining?
>genuinely good and interesting comic choices
That’s an interesting way to spell “obvious pandering”.
Throwing away iconic characters on a whim so you can please the demands of pissy ideologues who could not care less about the comics themselves and only care about pushing their own agenda where it doesn’t belong, is not “genuinely good and interesting comic choices.”
You know superhero mantels get passed around ALL THE TIME right?
There’s multiple Flashes, Green Lanterns, Robins, Ms. Marvels, Captain Marvels, Spidermans, and even Wonder Womans, right? There’s even more than one Batman. THERES ALREADY MORE THAN ONE CAPTAIN AMERICA. (Bradley AND Barnes have both used the name already.)
Starting a new run where the mantel gets passed onto someone who isn’t a white dude isn’t “throwing away iconic characters.” It’s using a staple of the comic narrative to bring in new fans, energize franchises, and diversify line ups.
Pffft, fake nerd boys, not even understanding how mantel passing works.
Oh I’m sorry you think you’re so smart you can look how mantel passing works on Wikipedia wow fucking move over people who have a genuine liking of comic books, dumbass Feminist bitches who think they have an opinion are pushing their agendas down your throat, and no matter what you say, you’re wrong.
A GENUINE liking of comic books?
You think I don’t genuinely enjoy comic books?
Being a misogynist doesn’t give you a monopoly on liking superhero comics, my friend. Does it bother you that OTHER comic fans aren’t bothered by these things?
So, I call total bs on the guy claiming Marvel is cramming something down anybody’s throats or throwing away classic characters.
You know who’s a classic character? Sam Wilson - The Falcon and new Captain America who was created in the 60’s by Stan Lee and Gene Colan. You’re familiar with Stan Lee, yes? Same guy that co-created that masculine Thor you’re so attached to.
Actually, that’s not true. THAT Thor, the one who is actually the son of Odin, was created much later. The one Stan Lee actually created was a guy who stumbled across the hammer of Thor and was able to gain Thor’s powers and form because he was worthy. A lot like that lady on the cover is going to.
But, you know, whatever. Don’t let being wrong stop you from continuing to call people names. Just realize if anybody is a fake fan here, it’s you for not having a basic understanding of comics continuity.
"comics are for MANLY MEN. MANLY MEN WHO BURN BADLY IN THE SUN PROBABLY. Make them not about us and you RUIN EVERYTHING. EVERRRYYYYTTTHHIIINNNGGGGG"
Actually I want those shitheads to be right. Whoever is the new Iron Man, make them a bisexual transgender Asian woman. I want those racist misogynists’ heads to explode.
come on people
ant-man is basically about three white dudes sorting out their business problems and dealing with their man pain
how can you not be excited?!
i mean just think of all the cool things they could have done with janet van dyne in her 50’s/60’s…
- she could have been like M in Bond, but to the avengers
- trained another wasp to take over her field role in the avengers (maybe, le gasp, her daughter hope van dyne? and then we’d get another female avenger out of it)
- or even, hell, they’ve already thrown enough comic continuity out of the window in the mcu, why not go crazy and have it turn out that she had some kind of mentor/protegeé relationship with Peggy Carter, and JVD helped her badass mentor maintain S.H.I.E.L.D? She could be former Director Van Dyne
- and in a twist, it turns out she came up with the idea for the Avengers Initiative (hey, canon!)
- reject ageist stereotypes that older people can’t still get their superhero on, i mean, she doesn’t have to punch people… i assume the ability to fly, shoot energy blasts, manipulate size and telepathically control insects doesn’t magically disappear the second a person no longer conforms to hollywood standards of youth/beauty
- also she still has a brain and the wasp has been a founding member / leader of several avengers teams, including the main avengers (hey, canon again)
- she could help cassie lang form the young avengers and mentor them with aforementioned avenger-forming/leading expertise, and hey then we could get a ya movie
- she emerges gloriously from the comic-book-movie-grave in full costume, breaks the fourth wall to rant at everyone for what they did to her character, summons she-hulk, captain marvels (danvers and rambeau), mockingbird, spider-woman, jessica jones and elektra and they fly the fuck away to form a new superhero team while giving everyone the finger
- HEY, HOW ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT ERASING HER / FRIDGING HER AS A PLOT POINT FOR HANK PYM’S MANPAIN
Marvel please listen to us. You’re gonna lose your audience. I swear no one’s gonna watch your fucking Ant-man movie unless you do something smart about it.
It’s been a week and I’m still pissed off.
Capatain Marvel, but very much YES
OKAY BUT WHAT ABOUT MS MARVEL WITH KAMALA KHAN
That would be a FANTASTIC MOVIE
Marvel: *makes Thor a small frog*
Marvel: *makes Thor a horse alien*
Marvel: *makes Thor a woman*
Fanboys: THOR HAS TO BE A MAN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT